Tuesday, January 29, 2013

God's Immaculate Rod

For today's review, I'll be looking at God's Immaculate Rod by Divine Interventions. Click any of the images to see a larger version!

Size Comparison:

This divining rod will not only locate the nearest source of fluids, but also procure them. Poor puns out of the way, this lovely dildo is simply fantastic. Like the Devil this Divine Interventions toy is excellently textured; however this toy has no sharp points, and boasts six defined ribs and four noteworthy nubs. God's Immaculate Rod has a smooth curve, and is a fairly modest appearing dildo. It comes in either a marbled red or a marbled purple.

I found the shape lent itself more to small movements rather than thrusts. Most of the dildo is smooth, and every raised texture is essential. The nubs are perfectly placed for g-spot stimulation, and thus caused lots of squirting. The ribs provide sensation along the sides of the vaginal canal, which is especially defined when moving or doing kegels. Even though this toy isn't that large, 1.5 inches in diameter and 6.5 inches in height, the curve makes you feel full. Not much lube is needed with this toy, though it does need to be water, not silicone, based like the Holy Water Lube. I would not recommend using this toy anally, it doesn't have a very distinct base to keep from complete insertion and a trip to the emergency room.

God's Immaculate Rod can be cleaned by boiling, dish washing, or hand washing. This silicone toy does collect a bit of lint, so I would advise covering it in saran wrap between cleanings.

All in all, this is a fabulously textured g-spot dildo. For anyone who wants to squirt or find their g-spot, or just scream "Oh My God!" to their dildo, God's Immaculate Rod is a great find. 

Grade Breakdown: 96

Value: 5/5

Worth it.

Aesthetics: 19/20

Lovely- can also be made in purple.

Pleasure: 72/75

Intended Functionality: 4/5

Not so great for thrusting.

Reusability: 18/20

Lint magnet.

Best Functionality: 50/50

As a dildo to invoke squirting.

FTC: Divine Interventions provided Sex Toy Review Land with God's Immaculate Rod free of charge for an honest review. Though links have been used, this has not altered any of my opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC.

Monday, January 21, 2013

The Devil

For today's review, I'll be looking at The Devil by Divine Interventions. As always, click any of the pictures to get the full version.

Four Sides:
Vs on Back:

What a hunk of silicone! This hefty toy measures 1.75 inches across and is 7.5 inches high. This Devil is certainly in the details- the dildo not only has an exquisite tail and cape, but also has detailing to include fingers, nostrils, eyes, and facial hair. While this does make for a gorgeous dildo, it makes a hand wash clean up require a toothbrush to get all the crevices. Alternatively, this toy can be boiled clean or thrown in the dishwasher. The Devil also collects a ton of lint, the photographs above were taken after I let the dildo sit for a half hour post-cleaning. Thus I would especially recommend covering this toy with saran wrap after cleaning.

The Devil is definitely best for people who favor lots of texture and girth. While the silicone does have some squish it's rather firm; comparatively, it's slightly firmer than Vixen Creation's general silicone. Because of this firmness, the nose is sharper than it looks. For vaginal use, I found the nose a sharp point against my front vaginal wall. Upon insertion and in use, the nose was awesome, and it pressed up against my g-spot very nicely. The nose also made small movements preferable to large thrusts. After orgasm though, due to increased sensitivity, the nose was slightly painful during removal. The cape's lip I found most noticeable under my pubic bone, and the cape's Vs ease insertion. I didn't notice The Devil's head that much even with all its texture due to the nose and cape. This dildo can be used anally safely. 

As The Devil is made of silicone, a water based lubricant is needed, and Divine Interventions has Holy Water Lube. Be sure to spread lube all over the dildo, otherwise lube will build up in the lip of the cape. All in all, I would recommend this dildo to texture lovers, girth admirers, g-spotters, and those that want a little more fun when making pacts with the devil.

Grade Breakdown: 89

Value: 4/5

Aesthetics: 20/20
Gorgeous- can also be made in red.

Pleasure: 65/75
Intended Functionality: 4/5
Other than removal, it's fabulous.
Reusability: 16/20
Annoying to hand wash, lint magnet.
Best Functionality: 45/50
An aesthetic texture slut's dream.

FTC: Divine Interventions provided Sex Toy Review Land with The Devil free of charge for an honest review. Though links have been used, this has not altered any of my opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC.

Saturday, January 12, 2013


For today's review I'll be looking at Avalon by SSA Glass. Click any of the photos to see their full version! 

Size Comparison:

I decided to review this glass dildo for rather superficial reasons. First, I only had one glass dildo at the time of requesting Avalon, and had been meaning to expand that collection. Secondly, I was listening to Mickey Avalon's My Dick. Though I wouldn't say that this dick was "good for nothin'" I also wouldn't say it was "good good lovin'". 

I found this dildo to be too narrow, at it's widest point it's an inch across. The bumpy side was too smooth and thin for me to really feel the bumps. If I squeezed my pc muscles while thrusting I could distinctly feel the different bumps, but I was far too lazy to do this for long. This was also the only way I was able to achieve any g-spot stimulation with this toy. The opposite smooth side starts off at its widest and tapers down. This side was just a little too dull for me. I would not recommend either end for anal play as there is no flared base. Though this is a double ended dildo, I wouldn't recommend having two people use it internally at the same time given the rigidity of this toy.

This dildo is made of glass, so it can be used for temperature play, by either bringing the toy in the bath or heating/cooling a cup of water for the dildo. Also testing the chilled/heated toy on your nose before placing it anywhere more sensitive can help avoid potential mishaps. When including temperature play I found this dildo to be much more interesting, and it would make for a good introductory temperature play toy.

Any lubricant can be used with this toy, and not that much is needed. The glass is completely smooth and devoid of any taste or scent. It can be easily cleaned with a dishwasher, through boiling, using toy cleaner, or hand washing with warm water and soap.

The Avalon I was sent was wrapped in bubble wrap, its storage pouch, and sent in a plain cardboard box. I found it rather odd that this toy didn't come in it's own distinct sealed packaging given it's made by a fairly large manufacturer. 

All in all this may be a fine dildo for someone who enjoys skinny toys or is new to temperature play and/or penetration; however if you enjoy distinctive texture and an average girth or wider, I would skip this one.

Grade Breakdown: 58

Value: 1/5 
At Eden Fantasys for just under $30

Aesthetics: 15/20 
A nice lilac, though rather plain. 

Pleasure: 42/75 
Intended Functionality: 0/5 

Not the right shape for me. 
Reusability: 20/20 
Easy to clean.  
Best Functionality: 22/50 
Solely as a temperature play dildo.  

Thank you Eden Fantasys!

FTC: Eden Fantasys provided Sex Toy Review Land with Avalon free of charge for an honest review. Though links have been used,  this has not altered any of my opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Sliquid Satin

For today's review I'll be looking at Satin by Sliquid

I only have two negative things to say about Satin: one- it doesn't come in a pump bottle (though that's easily fixed), and two- it isn't sold in larger volumes. That is all. Satin is by far my favorite lube, whether playing with myself, partners, or toys. It's a water based lubricant so it's silicone friendly and latex friendly. Satin also has Aloe Vera, giving it a cushier feel than most lubes. Satin has a bit of a taste, it's rather subdued though and I've only noticed it when tasting Satin alone, when on genitalia it's not recognizable. It has a scent, though only when smelling the entire bottle rather than a bit of lube, which I find reminiscent of soap. It can be used for anal, though I would go with an even thicker lube like Sassy or Maximus. I find Satin lasts longer than most water based lubricants, though certainly not as long as a silicone based lubricant. Since it is water based though, a little water itself can wake the lube right back up. When finished, one can either use soap and water to rinse off the lube, or rub it in as a moisturizer

Satin is actually designed for daily use for any vulva owner who has regular dryness due to menopause, medication, etc. Like all Sliquid products, Satin is paraben free and glycerine free, though if any irritation occurs, one should stop using it.

Satin is also vegan, and the ingredients are as follows: 

Purified Water, Plant Cellulose (from Cotton), Carrageenan, Aloe Barbadensis (Aloe Vera), Natural Tocopherols (Vitamin E), Cyamopsis (Guar Conditioners), Potassium Sorbate, Citric Acid

Grade Breakdown: 98  

Value: 5/5 
At Eden Fantasys for just under $23
for 8.5 ounces 

Aesthetics: 19/20 
A simple container, though I like the blue.

Pleasure: 74/75 
Intended Functionality: 5/5
Keeps vulvas moist if experiencing dryness. 
Reusability: 19/20 

The flip top is rather annoying.
Best Functionality: 50/50 

It's a fantastic lube, and I like it best with my other toys.