Saturday, April 27, 2013


For today's review, I'll be looking at the Tango by Happy Valley Silicone in the Fuze line. As always, click any image to see the larger version!

 Slot for bullet vibe:
 Giver portion:

The first thing that caught my eye with this double ended dildo was its ridges that provide clitoral or perineum stimulation. In theory, this is a strapless strap-on that doesn't require anything further for use. The Tango is made of a firm pure silicone and has a small reservoir for a bullet vibrator. Using a bullet vibrator will provide some external stimulation for the giver, and a small amount of internal stimulation for both the giver and receiver. The Tango also comes in a lovely light blue.

The Tango has a smooth finish which makes it slightly more difficult to grip as the giver. For myself, the giving portion would slip out a half inch or so during partner or solo use. The receiving end benefits from the smooth finish though, and is easily inserted for vaginal or anal use. It's also on the slimmer side, making it more accessible to more users. For the giver portion, too much lube will make it difficult to maneuver Tango without it slipping out. When using a bullet vibrator, I found a drop of lube aided insertion and removal of the vibrator without making it too slippery to stay in the reservoir. Make sure to use a water-based lube, as a silicone one will destroy this toy. Jimmyjane's Little Chroma just fit, and due to its length, also provided extra external stimulation.

For myself, the Tango wasn't that great for solo play. Though the ridges made for clitoral stimulation, the internal portion was a little too small and didn't touch my g-spot. Though for other people with closer spots, the curve may be enough for g-spot or p-spot stimulation. The giving portion of the Tango is meant for people who like smaller and slimmer stubs. For partner play, the Tango unfortunately does not stay put. Either a harness that allows for a double ended dildo, or a spare hand is necessary for thrusting with Tango.

The Tango attracts a ton of lint, and needs to be cleaned before and after every use. This can be done, after removing the bullet, via boiling, a dishwasher, a 10% bleach solution, or warm water and soap. The Tango is made of high quality materials, and may work well for other users, the exact shape simply did not work well for myself.

Grade Breakdown: 72

Value: 2/5

Aesthetics: 16/20
I prefer the light blue version, the black is a bit bland.

Pleasure: 54/75
Intended Functionality: 1/5
Doesn't stay put as a strapless strap-on.
Reusability: 16/20
Collects tons of lint.
Best Functionality: 37/50
Partner play with a harness.

Thank you Fuze!

FTC: Fuze provided Sex Toy Review Land with the Tango free of charge for an honest review. Though links have been used, this has not altered any of the opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC.

Sunday, April 21, 2013


For today's review, I'll be looking at the Gryphon by Bad Dragon. Bad Dragon creates fantastic toys for furverts and/or people who want unique toy shapes. As always click any image to see a larger version!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013


For today's review, I'll be looking at D1 by Maia. Click any image to see a larger version!

 Suction Cupped:

This medical grade silicone1 dildo is rather girthy, checking in around 1.6 inches wide. This is especially dramatic as the silicone is very stiff and has almost no squish. The two ridges are angled perfectly to create a feeling of fullness. Unfortunately, the way they are angled creates a pop whenever passing the pubic bone. Thus I found large thrusts rather uncomfortable with this dildo, though minor thrusts were fine and pressed against my g-spot. Due to its firmness and width, be sure to use a lot of water-based lube with this toy.

The D1 comes in neon pink and purple. The bottom is a suction cup, which works well on flat surfaces. As the D1 has a base, it's both harness compatible and anally safe. The thin base also manipulates well with one hand. Like most Maia toys, the D1 comes with a bright drawstring bag that matches the color of the toy.

For cleaning, warm water and soap, toycleaner, using a 10% bleach solution, or boiling will all do the trick. Even though this is a silicone dildo, it doesn't attract lint which is lovely. All in all, I would not recommend the D1 unless you really enjoy girthy toys, especially as it is very firm with almost no give. Though if you like girthy, firm, and textured toys- this is definitely one to consider.

1 Passed a flame test. 

 Grade Breakdown: 90

Value: 5/5
On Amazon:
Pink or Purple: $26
Rather cheap.

Aesthetics: 19/20
The neon pink is super bright.

Pleasure: 66/75
Intended Functionality: 3/5
Doesn't do large thrusts well.
Reusability: 20/20
Easy to clean.
Best Functionality: 43/50
Jiggling against g-spot.

Thank you Maia!

FTC: Maia provided Sex Toy Review Land with the D1 free of charge. Though links have been used, this has not altered any of the opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC.  

Wednesday, April 10, 2013


For today's review, I'll be looking at Chico by Bad Dragon. As always, click any image to see a larger version!

 Front and back:
 Some colors (red and black can be chosen):
 With syringe attached:
 Dribbling (far away dark spot was from a quick squirt!):

The Chico is an adorable miniature dildo designed for lubrication. Using the syringe it comes with, one can squirt up to 60mL or two ounces of lube at once! The Chico is made of pure silicone though1, so you only want to use water-based lubricants. For color options, the Chico can come in red, black, or surprise me. Bad Dragon also offers a miniature Seadragon if you want to go the fantasy route. And perhaps in the future they will miniaturize other toys.

At three inches, this toy is meant for fun, teasing, and preparation. However, if you have a particularly small vaginal canal, or if you have pain associated with penetration, this may be an especially lovely little toy. Generally speaking this toy is better for anal preparation as it's more noticeable, and more important as the anus is not self-lubricating. Usually I would not advise this toy for anal as the base isn't very dramatic, however given there is a tube attached one should be fine, though caution is advised. Unlike larger Bad Dragon toys, this one only comes in firm, though it still has some squish.

For squirting, I found the simplest way to fill up the syringe and then attach Chico's tube to it. Depending on the speed behind one's push, the Chico can squirt an entire syringe within seconds, or dribble lube out over time. Bad Dragon's Cumlube works perfectly for this, and is conveniently sold in bottles of 250mL or eight ounces, so you don't run out of lube after playtime. Also keep in mind, you don't have to completely fill the syringe up, you can do smaller amounts to conserve lube.

For cleaning warm soapy water will do the trick, though cleaning in a tub or outside is better than the sink so you don't make a mess. The syringe is mostly hard plastic and can also be cleaned with warm soapy water. The end of the pushing part is porous, so although it can be used multiple times with the same person, I would not share syringes.

1 Passed a flame test.

Grade Breakdown: 90
Value: 2/5
$35 or less if from Adoptions
This is a rather fun but expensive lube shooter.

Aesthetics: 19/20
Very cute, though it can't stand due to the cum tube.

Pleasure: 69/75
Intended Functionality: 5/5
Applies lube.
Reusability: 19/20
The tube can be a shade annoying to pump water through when cleaning.
Best Functionality: 45/50
As an anal lube applicator- thus I really wish it had a wider base.

Thank you Bad Dragon!

FTC: Bad Dragon provided Sex Toy Review Land with Chico free of charge for an honest review. Though links have been used, this has not altered any of the opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC. 

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Sliquid Silk

For today's review, I'll be looking at Silk by Sliquid. Click any picture to see the full version!

Close up:
Size comparison:

Like all lubricants by Sliquid, Silk is vegan friendly, and free of any parabens, glycerin, or gluten. Silk is a hybrid lube, meaning it's a water based lube with silicone blended in. Thus ordinarily you do not want to use this with a silicone toy, however it is safe for any other material such as latex, rubber, glass, etc. Now there are a few toys with especially high grade silicone that can work with some quality hybrid lubes without causing them to deteriorate, however, I don't think it's worth the risk.1

Silk is a very creamy lube, and has a nice glide to it. Appearance wise, it's fairly similar to bodily fluids. It melts faster depending on how warm your body is, and the silicone leaves a slippery surface. It also absorbs into skin fairly easily, making reapplication or splashing with water a necessity. As a hybrid lube, I expected it to last longer than it did, which was unfortunate. Though this is a rather creamy lube, it is still thin and thus I would not recommend it for anal. For removal, a quick wash with soap and water will do.

The container shown is Sliquid's 8.5oz, the largest size they sell. I've noted before that I wish Sliquid's lube came in larger containers, and to be fair, this is pretty hefty. For volume, this is just over double the size of their ordinary bottle.   

Ingredients: Purified Water, Plant Cellulose (from Cotton), Isopropyl Palmitate, Polysorbate 20, Dimethicone, Emollient Ester, and Potassium Sorbate

Though this is hypoallergenic, I would recommend testing on an inner thigh before any genital use, and discontinue if any irritation occurs. This lubricant is unflavored, unscented, and non-staining. There is a very light scent, but I haven't been able to place what exactly it smells like, and furthermore it isn't noticeable on skin.

If you're looking for a lube to imitate bodily fluids, Silk may be right up your alley. Otherwise, for a general lube, I would suggest Satin.

1 If you do want to take that risk, I recommend testing on the base or any less important area. 

Grade Breakdown:79

Value: 4/5
If this is what you're looking for, it's well priced.

Aesthetics: 16/20
Eh, I like Sliquid's blue bottle better.
Also due to the size, you really have to squeeze.

Pleasure: 59/75
Intended Functionality: 5/5
Lubricates, especially good for masturbation and vaginal sex.
Reusability: 18/20
The flip top is rather annoying, as I've noted before.
Best Functionality: 36/50
Want it to last longer/not absorb as much.

Thank you Sliquid!

FTC: Sliquid provided Sex Toy Review Land with Silk free of charge for an honest review. Though links have been used, this has not altered any of the opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

MRS1 and MR2

For today's review I'll be looking at the MRS1 and MR2, two rabbit vibrators, by Maia. As this is an especially image-heavy post, the review will be beyond the break. Click any picture to see the larger version!