Countess Clit Dildo

For today's review, I'll be looking at the Countess Clit Dildo by Sh! As always, click any image to see a larger version.

 Sides:

The Countess Clit Dildo is a modest six inches, with four rings. This dildo has a lovely futuristic sleek look to it, and also comes in purple, pink, and pure black. There is also a vibrating version of this toy. Countess Clit is in Sh!'s regal line, they have seven other lines and a limited edition section (which includes glow in the dark dildos).

This dildo is pure silicone¹ and thus requires a water-based lubricant. This silicone is fairly firm, so the rings are distinct, but still has a bit of flexibility. The rarity of dildos having clitoris intended attachments makes far more sense to me now- the attachment could provide clitoral pressure, but only if one is grinding against it, and if it ends up hitting one's clitoris. When thrusting for example, the attachment tended to hit above my clit. For users wanting clitoral stimulation, I'd heavily suggest going with the vibrating version. Regardless, the dildo was lovely. The four rings make for strong sensations, especially upon entry. Countess Clit gets gradually larger to provide a gentle entry, and is angled for g-zone stimulation.

Unfortunately this dildo has a rather thin heart shaped base standard for Sh! dildos, and is too slim and flexible for myself. This made it awkward to hold during use, and would occasionally mess up my thrusts. Over time I've gotten used to the base, it just requires slightly different handling. These bases also make all Sh! dildos anal friendly and harness friendly. The Countess Clit isn't the best with a harness, as trying to match up the tiny arm exactly with a partner's clitoris isn't the easiest. To clean, one can boil, use toycleaner, or hand wash with warm water and soap.

¹ Passed a flames test. 

Grade Breakdown: 82

Value: 3/5

41£ at Sh!

On the pricey side, especially if the non-vibrating-arm doesn't work for you. 

If you're interested, I'd go with the vibrating one, 

and then you can also turn the vibrations off.

(Their dildos also come with a one year guarantee.)

Aesthetics: 20/20

This dildo is super sleek and gorgeous, 

and even has gold glitter embedded in it.

Pleasure: 59/75

Intended Functionality: 2/5

The clitoral arm didn't work for me.

Reusability: 16/20

Easily cleaned, and can serve multiple purposes.

Best Functionality 41/50

Vaginal masturbation, and providing g-zone stimulation.

Thanks Sh!

FTC: Sh! provided Sex Toy Review Land with the Countess Clit Dildo free of charge for an honest review. Though links have been used, this has not altered any of my opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC.

Wartenberg Wheel

For today's review, I'll be looking at the Wartenberg Wheel by UberKinky. As always, click any image to see a larger version!

Size comparison:

This devious little wheel is far sharper, and more versatile, than it appears. With almost no pressure it can feel like a tickle and with a firm hand can draw tiny perforations of blood. Made of stainless steel, one can simply boil it or wipe with alcohol to sterilize it. I don't anticipate needing to replace this wheel anytime soon, as it is rather sturdy.

The small arch on the handle allows for your pointer finger to easily and comfortably control the wheel. The wheel is mostly silent against skin, it occasionally makes a light squeak. Against hard materials, such as hard plastic, it is clearly audible.

The wheel is fun to run across someone's body, and it also can scrape well when turned sideways. Speed, pressure, and placement of where the wheel is on someone's body all together effectively make this an awesome sensation toy. It can be used solely for pleasure or pain, or be used somewhere in between. For most users it is probably a little too intense to use on genitals, but it can be used anywhere external effectively, such as arms, legs, nipples, etc. UberKinky also offers more complicated pinwheels, with two, three, five, or seven wheels. I would certainly recommend this toy to anyone who's interested in sensation play, especially that errs on the side of pain.

Grade Breakdown: 99

Value: 5/5

At Uberkinky for just under £9

If you're interested and able to, you should get this.

Aesthetics: 20/20

It's rather fetching.

Pleasure: 74/75

Intended Functionality: 5/5

Lovely sensation toy.

Reusability: 20/20

Cleans easily, and creates different sensations.

Best Functionality: 49/50

For blurring the line between pleasure and pain,

a point off for occasional squeaking.

Thanks UberKinky!

FTC: UberKinky provided Sex Toy Review Land with the Wartenberg Wheel free of charge for an honest review. Though links have been used, this has not altered any of my opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC.

Lucky Me Lucky You

For today's review, I'll be looking at Lucky Me, Lucky You. As always, click any image to see a larger version!

 Open:

 Size comparison:

This flavored and scented towelette is a one-time use product designed to improve oral sex. For ingredients, there are no parabens or glycerin, though if any irritation occurs one should stop using it. The towelette is around hand size for myself, so application is easy. The slight dampness makes it so one can glide the towelette over a body.

The flavor I tested out is Succulent Strawberry, and currently other flavors are being created. I found the scent rather sweet, and a tiny bit cloying. After wiping the towelette on any patch of skin, it takes on the strawberry scent for a little over an hour. The flavor's taste unfortunately didn't apply as well as the scent. It was only noticeable after being applied recently, and wasn't a strong taste. If you wanted to use this product to make someone's genitals taste like strawberries, it simply won't do.¹ If you want to make genitals smell like strawberries though, it will succeed at that. This also holds for other bodily areas, though the taste comes through a little more, it still isn't that strong.

Ingredients: Water, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, Stevia Rebaudiana Extract, Citric Acid, Potassium Sorbate, Sodium Benzoate, Flavor 

This product doesn't interfere with condom use, dental dams, or gloves. It's worth remembering that it does not prevent STI transmission. All in all, this product may improve your oral sex life if you would be more comfortable if your or your partner(s) genitals smelled different. However, if you want semen or vaginal fluids to taste slightly sweeter, this product won't help.

¹ A better choice for taste would be any of Sliquid's Swirl line, I especially like the Green Apple and Pink Lemonade.

Grade Breakdown: 59

Value: 4/5

5 pack for $5.99 or 10 pack for $10.99

For a one-use, this is fairly priced.

Aesthetics: 7/20

The packaging is simple,

and the white towelette isn't the prettiest.

Pleasure: 48/75

Intended Functionality: 2/5

Flavor wasn't strong enough.

Reusability: 10/20

It's a one-use product,

it's a shade versatile as it can be applied anywhere.

Best Functionality: 36/50

Being used for its lovely strawberry scent.

Thanks Lucky Me Lucky You!

 FTC: Lucky Me Lucky You provided Sex Toy Review Land with LMLY towelettes free of charge for an honest review. Though links have been used, this has not altered any of the opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC.

Joque

For today's review, I'll be looking at the Joque by Spareparts. As always, click any image to see the larger version!

Front:

 Back:

 With Leo:

The Joque is a light double strap vegan harness that allows for two bullet vibrators and a dildo. The back is a giant adjustable velcro strap for easy putting on and taking off. The leg straps can also adjust significantly, and have sharp little teeth so they remain stable. This harness comes in black, white, red, pink, blue, and purple.

The double strap style allows for anal play while wearing the harness, and also creates some cute butt cleavage. This style also allows you to fit snugly in the harness, and for it to remain fitting you even if your weight fluctuates, or to potentially fit a partner. I've found this harness very comfortable to wear on its own, or on top of leggings or underwear. Given how comfortable it is, someone could pack with it, or use Pete to pack a little more securely. Joque thrusts extremely well, and follows your hip movements perfectly due to the snugly fitting straps. Since it is made of fabric, vulva-owning users will be able to feel every thrust they make- which can get a shade distracting. (Cock-owners may want to check out the Deuce harness.)

This harness can be used with a double ended dildo, such as the Tango, as long as you slide the inner fabric to the side. When using a typical dildo, this fabric covers the base of the dildo to avoid chaffing. There are two spots for bullet vibrators, these are mostly for the person wearing the harness though the receiver may feel some faint vibrations. Joque can be hand washed, or in a washing machine with delicates. 

Sizing

Size A:

Belt- 20-50 inches

Leg Straps- 10-16 inches

Size B:

Belt- 35-65 inches

Leg Straps- 14-24 inches

O-Ring:

Diameter- 1.25-2 inches

Circumference- 3.92-6.28 inches

The Joque comes in a lovely storage pouch, and comes with a one-year warranty. All in all this is a comfortable and flexible harness, and would make a great first harness.

Grade Breakdown: 93

Value: 3/5

$105

It's certainly pricey, 

if you can snag one on sale somewhere certainly do that.

Aesthetics: 15/20

The all white one is pretty sexy,

the other colors I'm fairly 'meh' on.

Pleasure: 75/75

Intended Functionality: 5/5

Lovely harness.

Reusability: 20/20

Can easily clean any bodily fluids or lube off of it.

Best Functionality: 50/50

As a play harness,

I can't think of any functional drawbacks.

Thanks Spareparts!

FTC: Spareparts provided Sex Toy Review Land withe the Joque free of charge for an honest review. Though links have been used, this has not altered any of the opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC.