Monday, December 9, 2013

Jackhammer Jesus

For today's review, just in time for the holidays, I'll be looking at Jackhammer Jesus by Divine Interventions. As always, click any image to see a larger version!

Back (cosmetic damage):
Head close up:

 Jackhammer Jesus is one of the more provocative Divine Interventions creations, and certainly the most provocative toy I own. People new to my collection often eye gigantic fantasy cocks, long knives, and a ridiculous amount of partially used lube bottles1, without comment; but talking tends to start the moment they see a silicone crucifix.

Jackhammer Jesus checks in at an insertable seven and a half inches, with a width of an inch and three-quarters. The cross top allows for both harness use and safe anal play, it's also a great handle. Divine Interventions' silicone is on the firm side, and also fairly static-y. Beyond blue, this toy comes in red, purple, black, gray, gold, and glow in the dark. As you can see in the image above of the toy's back, there was a cosmetic defect which did not affect use.

The start of this dildo is fabulous, with a sloped head and three ribs for stimulation. The feet unfortunately, are rather abrupt. Even with lots of lube, I found them uncomfortable during insertion. For vaginal use, after a few thrusts any discomfort went away, and the feet tended to press against my g-spot. Between the ridges rubbing against my vaginal walls and feet kicking my g-spot, this dildo was particularly orgasmic and easy to produce multiple orgasms with.2 For anal use, the feet made any thrusts have too much drag, though stationary use like a plug was fine.

1Does anyone here actually finish their lube? I always pause once it's halfway empty unless I have another bottle of the exact brand and style.
2After around a dozen I lost count.

Grade Breakdown: 87

Value: 3/5
This is a bit high for a dildo with cosmetic faults.

Aesthetics: 15/20
The divot detracts,
but the silicone is really pretty.

Pleasure: 69/75
Intended Pleasure: 4/5
Reusability: 17/20
Lint magnet.
Best Functionality: 48/50
G-spotting. Kinking Jesus.

FTC: Divine Interventions provided Sex Toy Review Land with Jackhammer Jesus free of charge for an honest review. Though links have been used, this has not altered any of my opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC.

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