Thursday, October 17, 2013

Grim Reaper

For today's review, I'll be looking at the Grim Reaper by Divine Interventions. Click any of the images for a larger version!


With the Devil:

I expected the Grim Reaper to be similar to the Devil- they're around the same size, seem to have the same amount of pointy-ness, have almost identical bases, and are about the same weight. They even both have raised arrows on their backs- though the Reaper's are closer together and also has a scythe. However while the Devil's pointy areas are slightly rounded (nose, horns, ears), the Reaper's hood is not rounded- those two tips are as pointy as they look.

Grim requires lots of water-based lube, and even then can still cause discomfort when inserting as the hood's points are at the beginning of the dildo. The only time I inserted this toy painlessly was after an orgasm, and even then Grim needed to be slathered in lube. Now for anyone who enjoys the bittersweet line between pain and pleasure, this is a lovely dildo. The two tips scratch against one's front vaginal wall in a pleasing manner1, and the Reaper's ridges make for great thrusting. I found doggy style put too much weight on the dildo's pointy areas, and crossed toeing the pleasure/pain line to death-needs-to-get-out-of-my-vagina-now. Also spinning death around while inserted was a terrible idea. Theoretically this toy can be used anally, though I suspect tears would be rather likely.

As the Reaper's hood overhangs its skull, this is a rather loud and squelchy toy.2 This is the only insertable toy I've ever used that has made me sore. That being said, I still anticipate using it for high energy/adrenalin self play. And if you're into that, or any sexual pain play, this is a fabulous dildo.

1If you want a gentler toy for front vaginal wall stimulation, check out the Cush
2 Also if you fall asleep post-orgasm and thus don't clean Grim, when you wake up your toy may have a cum grill. 

Grade Breakdown: 70

Value: 3/5

Aesthetics: 16/20
Also comes in gray, 
I find the other DI toys prettier.

Pleasure: 51/75
Intended Function: 2/5
Reusability: 14/20
 For a solid silicone toy, this is the most annoying one to clean;
even after a bath, I still had to toothbrush scrub clean the face.
Best Function: 35/50
Bittersweet orgasms.
This is the dildo if you want to ride that line.
Otherwise, for gentler with tons of texture, the Devil,
or smaller and smoother- God's Immaculate Rod.

FTC: Divine Interventions provided Sex Toy Review Land with the Grim Reaper free of charge for an honest review. Though links have been used, this has not altered any of my opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC.

Saturday, October 12, 2013


For today's review, I'll be looking at the Brief by RodeoH. As always, click any image to see a larger version!

 With Countess Clit:
 With the Gryphon:
With Leo/Bat Cock:

The Brief is a close fitting harness that avoids any of the hassle or awkwardness of straps. This easy-on harness is comfortable for short term or long term wear, making it a lovely choice for packing or substituting for underwear. Depending on how the Brief fits you dictates if you can switch dildos while wearing, naturally it is harder to do this with thicker dildos. There are nine different sizes, to ensure a close fit. The O-ring is non-interchangeable, and has a bit of stretch, but not that much. The ring has a diameter of one and a half inches, and can take slightly larger dildos/plugs if they are squishy.

Heavier dildos will droop and not be supported as well, making accurate movements more difficult. Users that only have experience with strap harnesses may find this harness a bit unwieldy at first. Due to the required tightness of this harness, it works best for vulva owners. There is a layer of material for a toy's base to avoid any chafing while the giver is thrusting.  

This is a definitely the sexiest harness I own.1 From the small splashes of red, to wearing it with low cut jeans so the lettering is visible, it's a blast. It also came with a RodeoH dogtag necklace, which is fun to wear around, especially if a partner has sexy associations with it.

1 This shouldn't be surprising, given their really pretty ads and tumblr.

Grade Breakdown: 92

Value: 4/5
At $45, it's an affordable first harness.

Aesthetics: 19/20
I really dig it, and the black/gray, red
and camo versions aren't too shabby either.

Pleasure: 69/75
Intended Functionality: 4/5
A lovely play harness, with minimal material 
between your partner and yourself.
Reusability: 20/20
Machine washable.
Best Functionality: 45/50
As a play harness it's lovely.
Unfortunately the o-ring can't be exchanged 
for a wider one, to accommodate a larger range of dildos/plugs.

Thank you RodeoH!

FTC: RodeoH provided Sex Toy Review Land withe the Brief free of charge for an honest review. Though links have been used, this has not altered any of the opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Xar the Karabos

For today's review, I'll be looking at Xar by Bad Dragon. As always, click any image to see a larger version!

Suction cup base:
Compared to a medium gryphon and medium bruiser:

Xar is a monster. A glorious monster to be sure, but a monster made of silicone all the same. This hefty two-pound1 beast is excellent to place weight on orifices or consensually slap people with. This Xar is a medium, but they also come slightly smaller, and much, much larger- see the dimensions chart below.

                                         Dimensions (inches)SmallMediumLargeExtra Large
                                   Diameter of Head1.501.902.402.90
                                            Circumference of Head5.005.757.209.00
                                   Diameter of Shaft1.501.752.152.80
                                           Circumference of Shaft5.005.907.309.40
                                  Diameter of Knot2.202.603.204.10
                                          Circumference of Knot6.908.2010.0013.00
                            Usable Length5.506.508.0010.30
                        Total Length6.707.909.7012.50

For firmness, I decided to do the wide split. This means that the shaft is a soft firmness and the base is firm; for myself and this size, this was the best possible firmness. The soft squishy shaft allowed me to insert far more than I could have if it were a medium or firm. And the firm base allowed for textured friction, and stiffer ridges. Alternatively one can get a medium/firm split, or entirely soft, medium, or firm.

Color-wise, I went with surprise me with a note to go crazy. I'm very pleased with the level of crazy achieved; the base is a sea foam green sheen with brown poking through in places and the shaft has a blue and golden marbling. Bad Dragon can do any custom color(s), marbling, splits, metallics and glow-in-the-dark. The flops page has toys with minor defects, and some are very cool looking franken pours2. This month, there's a lovely metallic orange and black marbling called sinister pumpkin for Halloween.

You can also get either a cum tube or suction cup with Xar, and if you go with the extra large size, you can get both. I went with the suction cup as I like having dragon dildos hanging on my walls. Suction cups are also great if you want to stabilize shower play. On the flip side, a cum tube makes sure you stay properly lubricated and makes for awesome lube fights. And with the Xar, lots of water-based lube is necessary with its bumps and huge knot.

Bad Dragon now also offers character print images, and prompts the option when creating a toy. If you'd rather get a ready-made toy, there are currently many black Xars in stock and a brilliant crimson one.

Xar is not a toy I would recommend to anyone starting out with insertion play. For a more common size comparison, Xar's knot is a little over half an inch wider than Maverick. This feels like the widest dildo I currently own, and is always a delightful challenge. My medium Bruiser is actually a little bit wider, but as its shaft is thinner, it's easier to knot. For the stretchy and adventurous, Xar is a lovely dildo. It has a rounder top, interesting divots, and tons of texture around the base. Its fun base makes it both harness and anal friendly. I only used this dildo vaginally, and happily its head did not hook or pop under my pubic bone, which may have been because it was cast soft. With its almost conical shape, it's a fantastic dildo for doggy style, and in that position I found it easiest to hit my g-spot. 

1 I'm going by the shipping package weight. I don't have a scale, but I totally trust fedex.
2 This page is updated every Friday, Flop Friday.

Grade Breakdown: 92

Value: 4/5

Aesthetics: 20/20 

Pleasure: 68/75
Intended Functionality: 5/5
Reusability: 17/20
 Needs to be cleaned often or kept in saran wrap, lint-magnet.
Best Functionality: 46/50
 For size-queen-ing and doggy.

Thank you Bad Dragon!

FTC: Bad Dragon provided Sex Toy Review Land with Xar the Karabos free of charge for an honest review. Though links have been used, this has not altered any of my opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC. 

Tuesday, October 1, 2013


For today's review, I'll be looking at the Flash by Lovehoney.  As always, click any image to see a larger version!

 Size comparison:
Open (from :
Thus far, I've reviewed two other vibrators made by Lovehoney- the Sqweel 2 and Happy Rabbit Natural. Both of these were decent vibrators, and had the potential to be awesome for the right user. The Flash unfortunately does not meet these standards.

Flash is, like its namesake, flashy- a small toy that can easily be traveled with, it charges via usb, has multiple modes and a single power button to flicker through them all. However its vibrations are buzzy and surface-level, rather than deep1. If you are rather sensitive, or want to use this vibrator solely for teasing, then it works. I found it particularly great for orgasm denial play. Though given the level of its buzziness, it can invoke temporary numbness.

The Flash has a silicone finish, so you want to stick with water-based lubricants. It's also marketed as waterproof; however the two halves pull apart easily, and I wouldn't use it underwater. I found its noise level greatly fluctuated, sometimes it was quiet, like a single bee buzzing, and other times the entire hive was active. This toy has a contoured tip, which didn't affect my experience positively or negatively.

I really wanted to love this vibrator- from its sleek and simple appearance, to how easily it can discretely charge off my laptop. Hopefully a second version will come out, with a vastly stronger and rumbly motor. 

1Such as say the We-Vibe Salsa or Touch.

Grade Breakdown: 65

Value: 1/5
Not worth it unless you really like buzzy vibrations.

Aesthetics: 19/20
Overall I like its appearance,
though I'd prefer the lovehoney band be made of a nicer metal.

Pleasure: 45/75
Intended Functionality: 2/5
Easy to use, but not powerful.
Reusability: 18/20
Can be quickly wiped down with a toy cleaner,
and charges quickly.
Best Functionality: 25/50
I found its best use was teasing and foreplay,
it simply produced bland orgasms.

Thanks Lovehoney!

FTC: Lovehoney has provided Sex Toy Review Land with the Flash free of charge for an honest review. Though links have been used, this has not altered any of my opinions stated within the review, and does comply with the FTC.